For Him
by live.for.the.summer.28
Summary: In Mockingjay, Haymitch visits Peeta. A darker side to Peeta though. R&R! Haymitchs POV.


"You can go in now Haymitch," a nurse says opening the door for me. I nod at her and get up.

What I wouldn't give for a drink right now. I force myself to walk through the door. I at least owe the kid this.

"Good luck," the nurse says to me closing the door behind me. I give her a good glare but she is already locking the door. What I wouldn't give for a drink right now.

"Wow, to what do I owe this pleasure Haymitch," I flinch as I come face to face with Peeta. He sits at a metal desk with restraints around his ankles and wrists. I've seen him through the glass but not so up close. Johanna was right; they replaced him with an evil mutt version of himself. He leans back against the chair with his arms crossed over his chest, his feet up on the desk, acting as if he hasn't got a care in the world.

How could I have let this happen to him? Where's my liquor when I need it?

"What," Peeta says impatiently when I don't reply, "you don't have the decently to look me in the eye and ask me how I'm doing?" I squirm in my shoes, how did Katniss do this?

"How are you doing," I say going to sit on the chair across from him. I can do this, for him. He smirks when I recline just like he is, except I keep my feet on the ground. I can't get too comfy around him.

"I'm shocked; normally people stand there and look at me like I'm an animal getting ready to attack. It's a new feeling for me. I can't say I like it yet."

"Well, when you try to strangle someone to death, I guess you earn that reputation." I expect him to get mad and try to strangle me but instead he laughs. His laugh echoes through the room, bouncing off the walls and into my head. Why is liquor banned here?

"Why did you bring me here Haymitch? Don't you know how I feel here," Peeta asks me his blue eyes staring intently into mine. Why do his eyes look different to me? "Did you want me to kill her?"

"We had no way about your condition." Again, he laughs. Since when did he start laughing like that? I cringe back trying to drain out his laugh.

"Condition, oh Haymitch, I was almost sure you wouldn't call it a condition. You can just tell me I've lost my _own_ mind. That's what everyone else here is telling me. It really doesn't faze me anymore," Peeta says running a hand though his long, blonde hair, again, acting carefree. This irritates me.

"We didn't know you lost your mind, happy now Lover boy," I say coldly trying to get some anger out of him. I hate how he is so calm and sure about all this. I thought for sure that Lover boy would get him all wound up but he just sighs and actually _smiles_ at me.

What have they done to this boy?

"Johanna was my cell mate in the capitol Haymitch; you're going to have to do a little better than that. I've heard it all." I roll my eyes and don't say anything.

"Back to my question, why did you bring me here?"

"For the girl," I say looking into his eyes making sure he knows that I'm telling the truth. I guess Peeta has heard this before because he smiles at me again, like he knew I would say this.

"I must say, I wish people would just want to rescue me for my _own_ benefit, not just for _her own_ benefit. I'm a little hurt by this. People tell me I was a really charming guy; I guess being captured and tortured by the capitol makes you a different person," Peeta pauses and seems to think for a while. "I guess you and everyone else here wouldn't understand though."

"Peeta, I'm sorry," I say not being able to take his sick humor anymore. He almost sounds like me and that's not a good thing. Peeta just looks at me like he doesn't understand what any of it means.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that you picked _Katniss_ over me. In the beginning I knew that we agreed to keep her safe and all that because she was important to the rebellion but I think that the real reason was because we all thought she could survive without me. We planned that I would die and she would win in the second games, am I right?"

I nod unwillingly and try to see where he is going with all of this. He takes his feet off the desk and leans in towards me, the bright light reflecting off his light blue eyes, making them almost look white.

"Well, I think that our roles are reversed now."

"What are you talking about, kid?"

"We all thought that Katniss would be able to survive without me. We both thought that she would be fine with that big guy that hunts with her. What's his name again?"

"Gale," I say swallowing. Peeta's right, we both thought she would be fine with Gale, less confused. If anything she is less sure about Gale than ever.

"Right, Gale! How could I forget that? Anyway, she obviously has no idea what to think now, but now look at me. I can absolutely say now that I have no type of romantic feelings for Katniss. And do you know what that means?"

I am speechless as I look at Peeta. How could he even say any of this? Most of all how can I feel that what he about to say is going to be one hundred percent right? I shake my head at him silently willing him not to say it as a devious smile breaks out into his face.

"It means that you were wrong about Katniss Everdeen. More importantly, you were wrong about me. You all thought that I was a weak, love sick boy who didn't know what to do with himself. Look at me now, Haymitch. What else do you see besides a tortured boy?"

I just stare at him forcing myself not to say what he wants me to think, because right now I am thinking just what he wants me to think. Curse this damn kid for being so persuading. He has painted the picture right in my head, what he thinks he needs and wants. I see him being free from his unconditional love for her and being able to be with the girl he deserves, someone who is not Katniss.

I want to beat myself silly for even letting me think this but how can I not help but agree with this? Katniss will never be able to commit to one person. Before, the Old Peeta couldn't see this, now he can see it with no problem at all.

I look at Peeta and still see his crazed, tortured smile on his face. As I look at him now I can see all of what he didn't ever want to become so with that in my head I get out of my chair and walk away from him.

"Good talking to you Haymitch!" He shouts at me before I shut the door behind me. I really hope these doctors will help him. He really needs it. I round the corner when I run into Johanna Mason.

"Hey! Judging by the look on you face, you must have just visited our good ole Lover boy," Johanna says with a smile on her face. "He's a lot of fun isn't he?"

"A blast," I say rolling my eyes at her. She gives me a look that almost looks like sympathy but I must be imagining it. What I wouldn't give for a drink right now.

"It's okay, I'm heading there now. He claims that I help him a lot. The boy is more delusional than I thought." She rolls her eyes but I see a smirk on her face. "I'll let you carry on with your fabulous day!"

I nod to her and watch her march down the hall and into Peeta's room. I don't know what possesses me to do it but I go back and look through the glass into his room.

The smile I saw on Peeta's face today is not the smile he gives Johanna when she sits herself down in front of him and tousles his hair. The smile I see on his face is genuine and not crazy. It almost looks like the smile he used to give Katniss.

I force myself to walk away from the two tortured friends laughing about who knows what. I don't let myself hold back the tears that fall for the girl who lost her boy with the bread, once and for all.


End file.
